I sit here and I write, about this endless fight, my heart beats this lifeless body awake, till in spite my eyes shake afraid, afraid of the things that might come, know my mind not my grudge. I don’t know why I can’t just feel okay, why I have to sit here and suffer-obey, why do I just listen to the big sad pains, this anxiety that won’t go away, the shame that brought my soul down the sink. I’m sorry lord, I’m sorry lord. I say it so much, more than ever before. Yet I’m going on a mission and trying to my core, but I’m so exhausted and in pain and sore that I can’t hold on anymore. The doubts flood in like the rain they pour onto my sleeve as they drip to the floor. Maybe I’ll just bleed unlike my tears like waves from the shore. And just see my fears like flames from the storm. Poetic and beautiful my love I fall to the floor, grab the same rose pedals off the path to the door, I crawl my way there as I look like I’m poor.
Whatever is behind is gonna show me, exactly who I want to be like, show me what I want to be. It will reveal to me the things that no one believes, it will show me hope and the finest of things. The door is unlocked no matter the time, the crazy undwindled lights the unshakable quakes and the wild nights, this door stands still like and empty store at night.
While i sit here and cry and look so lost. Didn’t know this life was expensive what it would I cost. Didn’t know my heart, mind, and soul were crossed. I had no idea that through this “I got it all together” look and mentality. Was a lost young teenage boy falling apart at the scene. Kneeling in front of his own cold body. Dead on the ground as he prays on his knees, for his own redemption because of all of trees. Without nature how could he live with belief, how could he understand the faith, how could he even feel free. Reality sucks man I wish I could leave. Fall into myself fall into my dreams. Never come back, be forever asleep.
