A dismal reality. One that is fake and lies between dimensions. A place where you go to get lost and escape your world. Isn’t it so beautiful? I mean don’t get me wrong it’s not always the prettiest, with the war, the battles. And some people spend hours trying to be better and GET better. Some try and put themselves in tough situations. But does it matter?
Is this reality worth the money, worth the time, worth the cost? Since when was it more important to be sucked into this place rather than spend time with the ones you love. I mean it’s great to get away from school, friends, work, commitments, responsibilities…..
I’ve been to these places, I used this reality to hide from my mind. To act like I was alright. When truly awhile ago I wasn’t.
But as I sit here and feel caught in a tornado, as school is back, work is new, I’m getting my mission call soon, and the gym turned into a stressful thing. I’ve hit a point of weakness, the marathon man himself cannot keep going. I feel as my spirit has weakened, my body is tired, my mind is idle, I’m just tired.
I never wanted to be that guy who gets worn out, but man I am.
But you know what am I going to let these past couple days keep me down? Hang on let’s change direction. How about instead of I’m tired, let’s do, I know I won’t be tired if I believe so—if I have faith.
Fear Not, Believe Only. Not my words someone else’s, a man, a leader of a beautiful gospel. But boy am I gonna stand by them for as long as possible. I’m done being worn out. This was gonna be a dim hopeless post. But instead because I have worked to be close to the gospel recently I’ve been blessed with a mentality that grows as it speaks. So here I am, standing before my own iniquities and doubts with my head held high. Higher then the heavens of which I will soon bathe.
So as I continue into this week I will work. Work harder to be a hard worker. Put all I have left in me towards this mission call. Put aside school for a minute and focus on me. I will give every last drop of blood in my body, every bit of sweat and tears. I would walk for an eternity even when I get calloused bloody feet. I’d fast for weeks at a time. I would run, walk, kneel, crawl, and be prone grabbing on to the steady ground one hand at a time if it meant I could serve the lord and His gospel.