I’m so young but yet I’m so old
It’s so warm outside on the inside Its still cold
Couldn’t see what you wanted but yet It still sold
Everytime I open up my heart there’s still a big fold
You guys already have seen what I hide from all of the ones I love
You guys already seem to know that I try and ask for help from up above
I let them fill me with fires
I let them shock me like wires
Sometimes they get to my head
Let them keep me out of bed
Ya know, making me overthink everything you said
Making me get on the brink of getting mad
Making me shake and shiver when I’m getting sad
What I’m getting down to
Is that I have no control of my thoughts
My brain keeps taking tons of random stops
I keep my thoughts from others
That’s why I have so many covers
Because they can’t Handle it
They can’t stand it
They would leave me
For they can’t see me
they can’t free me
They think they can help
But they wouldn’t be able to even if they tried
if I tell them they did, I had lied
Because they don’t really know who I am
They don’t know how to see me through
When they try and understand me I try and tell them that’s a sham
Because no one understands me
I hardly understand me
I partly can’t stand me
So why should you love me when you know I would fight
when you know I would just cry
And fall behind like a kite
That was let go
that was not grown
That could not have flown
Because its holes and it’s string that’s so knotted
And then it’s burnt from all of these hot coals It just has to live with because nobody caught it
I know you think you can help me find the answer
But don’t try because I’m just a cancer
And incurable disease with no relief
And insatiable person that has no belief
Which makes it difficult to find anyone who would stay
And grab me when I’m floating away
When I’m struggling and can’t say
How I feel because Im so frayed
You’ll never get it
So stop trying to medicate it
stop trying, I’m giving you a warning
I’m a mess, With you I’m trying to be real
Because I’m just gonna let go of the wheel
Because I know that no one will understand how I feel
An absence of empathy. Sympathy gone. I couldn’t help but feel I was all alone. More alone then alone. Not even God felt close. Even though he was. I wrote this with pain in mind. Trying to tell others to stay away or they will get hurt.