It’s almost like I’m driving away from the past life I was living. I’m on my way to somewhere far away. Recently me and my Girlfriend of 2 years split up due to the mission I’m going on. It is harder than I thought it would be. It hasn’t fully settled in my heart. It doesn’t feel real. But as I’m speeding down this road and staring at the Utah desert pass I feel as my heart is slowly being let down, and I am setting into reality. Feeling those emotions that scared me. Feeling as the distance between me and my girlfriends connection increases and grows weaker. It’s a pain I never felt. I’ve had passed relationships even 1 other relationship that lasted for 2 years. But I was young, I knew I had time and marriage wasn’t in the picture. Maybe the love was a little premature and immature. It was there and was fun don’t get me wrong. Truthfully it helped me grow and become who I am today. But breaking up with them wasn’t as hard because it was for the best. We weren’t in a place we wanted to be and I felt it was so right to end things where they stood. But now as the distance grows between me and my girlfriend, I find that this time it truly is sacrifice. That I definitely didn’t actually want to lose our romantic relationship, but I had to so I could be prepared for my mission. It isn’t about being worthy or about “no more kissing” rules or anything. It is because God needed me to see the amount of sacrifice this mission will take. I will lose everything I love for a couple of years and create my own love for God and his children. Leaving Emma is gonna be part of the largest sacrifice I will have to make for my mission. And God needed me to be ready for that which is to come. So Emma if you are reading this, please know it was never because of you or the status of us. You were such an impact in my life that I had to leave to be ready. I loved you so much that leaving without closure would have been impossible. And God knows you are strong enough to handle this, so he paired us up in his eternal plan. This has been hard, harder than I thought possible. But stay faithful for the future. Know that if we are meant to be, then we will come to pass. And when that day that I get home and see you comes, I will be happy. And while I’m gone I only dream and pray and hope you make good decisions, and continue being the best qualities of Emma that I know.
We met under a full moon shining in the sky.
We said our goodbye to romance under that same full moon.
