My heart is beating out of my chest
Why can’t I just be like the rest
I’m just always soo stressed
Struggle with pain and suffering worse then the blessed
It’s crazy that being down here on this earth is a test
That’s going through these trials, and on this final quest
To get back to god and love him, so live your best
Don’t let fear doubt or discouragement be a pest
I’m lost in my brain
I’m stuck in a pit of shame
Worse then any pain
Knowing that I’m the one to blame
My mind speeding like a train
Only to be freaking out and going insane
You feel like a blind man, trying to fly a plane
Like your stuck in a storm, about to crash because the rain
Working as a subject heck maybe even a slave
Yeah it’s really hard to be brave
But could it be worth it when you finally get saved
This night has been the worst
You ever sit there freaking out feeling like your heart is about to burst
Like no one is there for you and your stuck inside a curse
That there is no way to get away, no antidote, no cure
That you have to sit there praying and crying until your pure
But realize maybe it won’t happen and you really can’t be sure
If you’ll ever get better, even with a doctor some sort of spiritual nurse
That no matter how much you love others and you serve
You might be chained up until the end of time, forever?
So I’m letting you know now Your obviously not the only one
Trust me I’ve felt this plenty of times before, not just a small sum
Don’t feel like your alone or your some sort of dumb
Because I’ve been there, I’ve been scared, I’ve felt numb
Yes it may take time, there will be a lot of stuff to overcome
But you have so much help heck god gave his son
A night where I laid there for hours and hours. And the only thing I could feel was my heart beating so hard because of my guilt. I wanted to sleep and forget about it but this attachment and parasite would not let go. There was only one way of fixing it….