Hey I’m not trying to be rude but like school might be the pointless thing ever. I have plenty of classes that are enjoyable and in some way help me develop as a person but none of them will permanently help me in my future. It’s Covid pandemic time and I’m getting assigned huge projects intense amounts of homework and it’s like my teachers are out to get me. I’m in a band and I can’t seem to get a hold of my voice, and I simply want to have a good time. But no the only class that will benefit my future has a teacher who doesn’t understand that we have a life outside of school and that there are other priorities then some stupid computer programming. And it’s hard for me to really hold a passion for it because I feel like this programming won’t matter when the world ends and the second coming happens. And I could definitely focus harder on prayer and the gospel rather then this bull crap. I have so many goals and things I just can’t get a hold of. I end up falling short constantly. I just don’t understand why everyone is enjoying themselves but me. Why kids get away with missing class everyday and getting a better grade then me who shows up early and absolutely destroys my homework, tests, and projects. I think it’s absurd that some teachers have no regard for there students outside life. So far this year I’ve had like 3 teachers that are top notch. But of course I have 2 teachers that just have a vendetta against me. If I turn in an assignment late with them it’s 40 percent off when mine is probably more impressive and has more effort into it then others.
I just wish it wasn’t me against something else all the time. This world is a battle. Everyone else is having fun and I’m just sitting here on my bum, feeling like I haven’t seen the sun, and I’m blinded by the passion I have when some of these words I have sung, come from my tongue and out of these lungs. It’s the mistakes I make that kill me inside. It’s the pain that I feel for no reason in life. When I need to take a deep breath and hang out for awhile. I’m trapped in myself as I sit on these wet tiles. The floor comes up as my grave piles over my body because of my trials. It’s just hard. I just want to be a missionary already. An deadly silence echoes around me. I’m not even a part of reality.