Why do I have to suffer!!
I’m bringing the pain!
All I am is hopeless!
All I feel is shame!!
Please someone hear me!
Help me when I’m drowning!!
When are you gonna see!
That my heart is pounding!
That nothing can help me get away!
Away from this anxiety!
No matter how much I pray!
I am stuck I am stained!
Please I am hopeless, and afraid!
Idk why everyone is fine except me!
Idk why I can’t be found why I can’t be free!
I’m yelling on the inside, and all over this page!
Please let me know that I’m not the only one!
Please show me that we are safe that we won!
That we got away that we’re done!
That there isn’t anything left to be sung!
I’m screaming these words onto this page!
Not because I am happy or because I’m safe!
But because it’s the only way I can feel okay!
That it’s the only way that I can get away!
You might never understand this pain that I feel!
You might never get that its so fake, that it’s real!
You might never understand why I can’t heal!
Why I can’t fight why I yield!
I’m broken and I know it!
It’s spoken and I show it!
I’m awoken and I can’t slow it!
I’m coping but I’ll blow it!
So for the last time I just want these thoughts outta my head!
I want to get those painful shameful thoughts and threads!
Pull them till they fall apart and I’m left with what I said!
Maybe after I can finally be happy, I can go to bed!
Every-night feels like a endless darkness!
Every minute is stabbing, is a sharpness!
Breaking away at me and makes me heartless!
And yes I’m gonna stop one day, one day I won’t start this!
But until that day comes I’m going to be writing these songs!
These poems, these emotional bombs!
I have done plenty of things, so many wrongs!
But heck I’m gonna fight, and I’m gonna write!
Even if it takes minutes, hours, all day, all night!
Even if this pain lasts my whole damn life!
I’m gonna be there, I’m gonna be scared, I might even break down and cry!
But I’m telling you right now, no matter what happens!
I’m gonna be on gods side!
And there isn’t anything that could change my mind!
No trial, pain, suffering, heartbreak, or hopelessness, could change my mind!
I’ll be here working out my problems and writing my rhymes!
And staying up all night writing my soul away because of my crimes!
Sorry that this was so intense.
Sometimes I get crazy and real tense.
Scream my heart out and get a sense.
Of what reality is, look through a new lens.
It’s hard sometimes to get over myself.
I think I might need to check on my mental health.
Take Therapy, maybe put my past on a shelf.
Forget about it and finally get over myself.
My kind was trapped and suffering. The old “no escape” mentality. I remember that. It was 5 AM. I’m sitting at my friends house, the only one awake. Felt like I was laying under the weight of the worlds biggest stadium. Screaming yelling, pounding above…