Album—Shock Therapy
At night my mind goes to some dark places
It finds all the empty joy and fills all the spaces
With scary and intimidating thoughts, I don’t wanna face this
But there’s nothing I can do but try to win these races
I wanna get over myself and forget about my past
But heck my pain and anxiety just holds me back
It’s like when the lights go out I’m a bunch of broken glass
I can’t be fixed and it’s a test I cannot pass
So please help me get away from all the wrong I’ve done
Help me get away and please be the one
That I seek after, that can grab me before I run
Away from all the ones I love
Because I’m afraid I won’t belong
Because I know that I’m the wrong
Because I know that I am dumb
The stuff I did, it left me numb
So when I’m on my knees, and all I can say Is um
Know that all I want is to become
The person I wanna be, that specific someone
That people want around them, that people think is fun
I wanna be the person, I want to be the one
The one that I need when I am lost and I am gone
Sometimes I wonder if I just need myself
If I’m the one I need because I don’t have anyone else
Because even in world where everyone has things to sell
I could feel so alone and feel chained up in hell
Yes it’s surprising and pretty odd
That I could be so determined and so frightened at the same time, oh dear god
I hope you could find out what’s wrong with this fraud
This man that calls himself confident in the face of evil, you might applaud
But I let myself down all the time
Why can’t I be a light, why can’t I shine
instead it’s like I’m just waiting in line
To endless hopes and dreams of some kind
It’s like I was put here to be in pain
Like there is a reason for this, and I’m not to blame
Like god planted me here to understand this shame
To help me become stronger and better recreate his flame
So next Time I’m stuck like this I can fight back
Maybe I’m this relic or some sort of artifact
And god wanted me here to spread the message, to share the facts
To get the word around, that we can go back
This might be hard to follow and lot of mental chaos
But I promise this is the only way I can lay off
And relax and get back to my safe spot
Where I am the “Ben” I let you see
So you don’t have to be Around the person that you read
And see the problems that breed inside of me
So you can continue to think of me at peace
But let me tell you if I were to release
All of the feelings
Every single thing
That you’d hear come out of me
Would be so downright real, that you could feel your biggest dreams
That you could hear the leaves of trees
That you could be understood and be free.
So all I have left to say
Is I hope you find your way
I hope you never feel the way
That I’ve been feeling, the pain I prayed to stay away
Remember that line? Yeah me too, it’s from when I first started this crusade
I’ll leave you to it, don’t try to follow me, you’ll only be led to a place where you’ll be afraid
And you’ll come back and you’ll never be the same.
Join me. The same thing I’ve been asking for. I group of individuals united by principle, love, power, God. Core values, that we can share. Life doesn’t have a bunch of stepping stones we walk across. But there is a book of guidelines. And together we can figure out those guidelines. This doesn’t mean we won’t fall into trouble, but means we have a way to avoid it next time. Our guidelines built through experience. Come with me, join me and you’ll never be the same.