No one will ever understand how I feel
My parents tell me that I have no appeal
They say I should be stronger
But it’s been one big fight against this monster
I’ve been hurt down to the core
I’ve failed hundreds of times before
I failed so bad that it left me sore
I fight so much inside and nobody knows
Because if they did they wouldn’t see me as there own
I would be a false disgusting undertone
I’ve been focused on mainly staying away from sin
The glass I’m standing on is very thin
I wish everything would stay the way it’s been
I don’t know what I want to do
No wonder I’m a major mess too
No one believes in me
I build my own self esteem
But everytime I do It seems
that i should give up and just scream
and tell myself
I just need to beat myself
I’ve been trying to read myself
But everytime I do I feed myself
I feed myself all these false things
That make me want to be what everyone else thinks
But maybe I don’t want to go down that path
But if I left it, it would leave them in the past
And be hard to move on from all that mass
That weighs so heavily on my mind that could be running too fast
Everybody expects so much of me
Thinking I shouldn’t be
able to make a choice
I always have to fight so much for all of my joys
But it seems to me that if they could see that “gee maybe he wants to be what he wants to be”
That it could change what they think of me and possibly set me free
I thought things could be nice
But instead hatred came back and stabbed in the back with a knife
No one will understand this pressure
That I have dreams and goals that are impossible to measure
But instead they got in my head
and made me something that i want dead
I keep so much inside
There feelings I try to hide
I’m sorry to those who get that bad side
I don’t try to cause all of these fights
I just have feelings that slip out and slide
Instead of me being true and tried
I really want to be but I abide
But Im quite confused
I even have been talking to god
But it looks like I must be just a little odd
To be putting up such an insane facade
Because I don’t know if it’s my brain or if it’s god
yeah I’m afraid
Of which I’m ashamed
And that I have to deal with what has stayed
It left me stained
And now there’s no escape
A sense of loneliness flows through this. Honestly pretty well written this song describes the pains of fights and pain I was stuck with. Endless battles with myself and others. Confused and having to bottle up my emotions for the greater good. This whole time just wanting to be accepted and able to open up. Almost refreshing that I’m here right now sharing my words to those that care. For those that are here with me. Your diving into the deep end of my pool. Your in my deepest and darkest corners and caves.